is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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