I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
