he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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