if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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