I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
