Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
