I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My dick has a subreddit
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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