All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
