where am i from again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
