i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
