i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Randomize
