I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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