Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
