Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
