If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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