i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
