He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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