people are starting to question the shark bite story
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
