Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
