Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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