i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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