PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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