It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's always time for handjobs
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
