The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
