guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
