Do vagina's smell?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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