All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
