My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
