Whod you bang
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
