on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
