so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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