i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
