If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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