can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
