forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
