I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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