nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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