it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize