I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
