I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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