what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Say something about gay babies.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
