He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
