Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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