Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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