I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
