Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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