I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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