Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
