I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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