nut hugger
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
