no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
