he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
